Aura Starfire: The Formative Years
by Aurora-cs
Summary: One-hundred lost stories of an inter-dimensional traveller.
1. Memory

**Memory  
**

_Although it's difficult today to see beyond the sorrow,  
May looking back in memory help comfort you tommorow_

* * *

When she is nine years old, Aura Starfire watches her brother die.

When she is nine years old, Aura Starfire loses the only remaining member of her family.

When she is nine years old, Aura Starfire leaves Mobius.

* * *

Every child grows up hearing stories and every child dreams their own.

Every child - as soon as they can speak - tells them.

Every child, when punished or chastised for what they consider an unfair act, will make up another life for themselves, one where they are in control, where there are no boundaries for them to cross, no consequences to their actions, nothing for them to fear or lose.

Aura is no exception.

She is, however, an exception to this exception - if such a thing can be understood, because while every child will at some point dream of another life, they will in time forget this and return to that which is real and lasting.

Aura cannot wake from this dream.

* * *

_Most of the things from their home in Green Hill survived the fire, but Kharis takes few of them when they leave. These include a collection of photographs that span many decades and several generations, but it is the most recent that interest her. _

_Aura holds it in her hands._

_In it, her parents are smiling, happy and alive. They cannot speak, but she can hear their voices just as clearly as if they were actually there._

_"Aura?"_

_Hearing her brother, Aura wipes away the tears that are a mixture of happiness and sorrow and pushes down the sudden need for a hug. He always gets so sad whenever their parents are mentioned and she doesn't want him to stop smiling again._

_Instead she takes the photograph from the box and slips it into her pocket before going to find him._

* * *

Leaving Mobius behind, Aura also leaves behind anything that can remind her of the family she had, save for a tattered photograph and the pendent hanging around her neck.

This makes it easier to create her new life.

Only a few months after leaving Mobius, when she has already begun to suspect the depth and breadth of her newly discovered teleportation ability, she is taken in by a human family on Earth, who teach her their language and customs.

When she can talk with them, they ask about her family.

She could have told them about her parents, decent, hard-working people who were overjoyed to have the second child they had longed for after many years of heartache. The father who would pick her up and twirl her around, high above his head as she shrieked with laughter, would kneel down on the grass to play with her and tuck her in at night after reading the same well-known story. The mother who would tut but smile when she came in with dirt-stained clothes, play hide and seek and pretend not to know where she was and always let her have the big wooden spoon to lick whenever they made a cake. She could have told them about her brother, Kharis, eighteen years older than her but so full of fun that there didn't seem to be a gap at all, who would bring back amazing stories about the places he had been to and who, when their parents had died, had taken her away to spare her the pain, only to be lost himself.

But she can't tell them - losing her parents didn't hurt quite as much as it did in the months after it had happened, but when she lost Kharis, just thinking of them felt as it somebody had torn her heart out. She has always been a quiet child and has never been comfortable crying in front of other people. She is afraid that if she thinks of them, she will be unable to stop.

So she lies.

In her new life she is still an orphan, but one who has never known her parents. When she is asked where she lived, she tells them Mobius, if only because she cannot imagine a whole other planet. When this question is repeated, but amended to ask where she lived on Mobius before coming here, Aura tells them in a children's home, inventing a story about being left on the doorstep in the middle of the night as a baby.

Was there a note, they ask.

No, she tells them.

She mumbles answers to their other questions, which they take as a sign that she finds the subject painful.

Aura does, but not for the reason they think.

She finds it painful because she was brought up to believe that lying is bad, that it can only hurt people.

She never thought it would hurt her.

They promise not to ask her anything else.

* * *

_"Momma?" _

_Sapphire looks up from the bowl of cake mix they have been stirring together at her four year old daughter. "Yes, Aurora?"_

_Aura's smile is wide. "I love you momma."_

_"I love you too."_

* * *

Aura spends a year living this new life, but instead of helping her, it is slowly tearing her apart.

She dreams of her parents and brother, who ask her why she is trying to forget them. In one dream she tells them she doesn't want to forget them, only the pain. In another she blames them for dying, for leaving her. In another she just cries.

It feels as if there is a wall between the new life and the old, the imaginary and the real.

It isn't long before the dam breaks.

* * *

_Aura shrieks with delight. "Daddy!" _

_Her father grins as the swing goes back and forth. "Having fun?"_

_"Yes!" Aura giggles as she goes higher and higher. She's getting dizzy and her stomach feels strange, like it's turning around and around, but she's having so much fun that she never ever wants to stop._

_Never ever ever._

* * *

Aura is woken by a dream.

Usually the memories fade quickly, but this time they linger and she is seized with a sudden need to be outside, sneaking through the house and to the porch doors, where she turns the key in the lock and is met by the cool air.

From her pocket she brings out an old, tattered photograph and fingers the pendant around her neck.

How long she sits there, Aura doesn't know, lost in time as she stares at the captured image, but when she is startled by the sound of the door behind her opening, she jerks and in one move the photograph is torn in two.

For a moment she stares as it falls to the ground.

Then she starts to shake.

Finally she cries.

Strong arms enfold her and hold her close.

This just makes Aura cry harder.

* * *

_It has been a year since their parents died and so many things have happened - she has learnt how to tie her own shoelaces, coloured a picture without going over any of the lines and started school, where she is the best reader in her entire class. _

_Aura is scared she is beginning to forget their parents._

_Not what they looked like, because she can see them whenever she looks in the mirror, having her father's fur and ears and her mother's hair and eyes, or what they sound like, because they still have several of her father's 'home movies', where she can listen to their voice whenever she needs to._

_No, what she is beginning to forget are the things they did together, the memories she clung to so tightly after they were gone, when she woke up in the middle of the night after a bad dream and didn't want to bother Kharis; but then there is that day at school, when her teacher is worried enough to call Kharis and he all but runs into the playground to where she is sitting on the swings, a photograph in her hands._

_"Aura?" Kharis kneels down and places both hands on her shoulders. "Aura, what's wrong?"_

_Aura looks up at him and despite her vow not to upset him she finds her lip trembles. "Mari was talking about what she was getting her momma for her birthday and I couldn't remember what I got momma for her birthday last year. I've been tryin' to remember other things about momma and daddy, but I can't." Aura's voice breaks. "I don't wanna forget them Kharis, I don't but I am and..."_

_Kharis wraps his arms around her. "I know it's hard, but you'll forget a lot of the little things about them, like I have, but you will never forget how much they loved you and that's the most important thing of all."_

_"Really?"_

_"Really."_

* * *

In the end Aura cries herself to sleep.

When she wakes up it is mid-afternoon and she is in the bed of the room they have given her and sitting on the bedside table are the two pieces of the photograph, reunited by a piece of translucent tape.

She picks it up.

For the first time she truly looks at it, taking in the smiling face of her brother and her mother and father. Then she closes her eyes and pictures their parents, makes herself see and remember them and though this makes her want to cry again it also makes her smile and laugh at the fun they had.

Aura looks around the room.

She has been here for more than a year, at first recovering from a severe illness that she developed whilst in captivity, then learning their language so she could communicate with the human family that had taken her in, but why was she still here now?

Realising the extent of her teleportation early on, Aura had imagined travelling far and wide, to as many places as possible, excited at the very thought, but fourteen months later she is still here. Initially it was to recover from a severe illness, then to learn their language and finally because she was afraid of the danger, but now she can admit it was because she has been trying to recapture what she lost on Mobius in the extended family she had found herself welcomed into here.

Aura knows what she has to do. Her decision made, she takes the photograph and goes downstairs.

* * *

_"You're going to look so beautiful for your birthday party, sweetheart." Aura's mother smiles as she brushes Aura's hair. "I can't believe you're five years old. Pretty soon you'll be all grown up and won't need me anymore." _

_"I'll always need you momma!" Aura swings around. "I never want to go anywhere or do anything without you!"_

_"Oh sweetheart, you can't have your mother hanging around you all the time." Her mother takes the brush and puts it down on the table, then picks up the clothes lying on the bed. "You've got to spread your wings one day."_

_Aura giggles. "I don't have wings, momma."_

_"Everyone has hidden wings." Her mother assures her, brushing aside a stray lock of hair on her daughter's face. "Nobody knows when they'll open, but it will only be when you're ready."_

_"When will that be?"_

_Her mother smiles. "Oh, you'll know."_

* * *

**Authors note:** These are going to be a series of short stories and one-shots inspired by a 100-word list on the experiences and lessons of my fan-character, Aura Starfire, during the years she spends travelling in other dimensions. Aura has already been featured in my Star Trek:TOS/Sonic the Hedgehog fanfiction - 'The Future's Past' - and will hopefully appear in many others and chapters here may be expanded in those stories.


	2. Life

**Life  
**  
_When the world says, "Give up,"_  
_Hope whispers, "Try it one more time."_

* * *

Alex looked up at the sound of the bell, expecting to see a customer. He was surprised to see his wife enter the store, especially as it was only ten in the morning and she should have been at the local village school where she was a teacher, then worried when she turned the sign around on the door. When he noticed she was trembling all over, her tail twitching with what he was afraid was fear he quickly moved around the counter and got to his wife as she started crying. "Sapphire, what's wrong?"

Sapphire shook her head as tears rolled down her face. She let out a strangled sob as she threw herself into his arms and Alex looked around for a chair, scared she was going to faint, but Sapphire resisted any efforts to get her to sit down, just continuing to cling to him and burying her head in his shoulder.

"Sapphire?" Alex knew his wife could get emotional at times, in fact it was one of the things that made him love her so much, but this wasn't something to lightly tease her about. As she continued to cling to him, murmering something he couldn't hear, Alex remembered how quiet she had been for the last few days. He had put it down to being worried about Kharis, who had left to travel around the Mainland, but had a good feeling that this was only part of the reason for the way Sapphire had been acting.

"I can't do it again, Alex. I just can't do it again."

"Do what, Sapphire?" Alex asked, brushing away a stray lock of purple hair from her eyes. "Sapphire, I can't help you if you won't tell me what's wrong."

Stifling a sob, Sapphire raised her head. The look in her eyes scared Alex, but worse was the chill that ran down his spine the moment the next words left her lips.

"Alex, I'm pregnant."

* * *

The first time Alex had heard those words had been almost twenty years ago.

Back then Sapphire hadn't been his wife or even his fiancee, but a twenty-five year old woman who had broken down in his arms as she had confessed that the nausea and dizziness of the last few days hadn't been due to any illness, but a new life that was growing inside her. Alex had held her then as he held her now and little by little she had calmed down enough to face the bigger picture. Though they had been together since they were both fourteen years old and had lived together since Sapphire had left university five years earlier, they had felt no need to get married and had thought that the precautions they had taken had been enough. Both had been above the age of consent, but to be pregnant and unmarried even in a long and stable relationship was frowned upon. Thankfully both their families had been supportive and helped them to arrange a quick ceremony, where Sapphire had looked radiant in a light blue dress that had shown the slight swell of her stomach.

Six months later, when Alex had held his son for the first time, he hadn't thought that anything could compare to how he felt at that moment.

Oh, it hadn't been easy even with the support of both their families, but they had made it through. Alex had been grateful beyond measure to be given the shop that his father in-law had opened after retiring from teaching so that he could provide for his family - a word that had sent a warm tingle through his chest - as Sapphire had juggled taking care of Kharis with her teaching job, but they had talked about more children - as only children, both had known how lonely it could be at times.

Sapphire had fallen pregnant again just after Kharis' fourth birthday.

They had all been so excited, but then it had turned to tragedy when at a routine checkup the doctor had told them that there was no heartbeat.

Their baby had died.

It had hurt so much, but more painful had been learning that there was no explanation and when the doctor had told them that the best thing to do was wait several months and try again, they had been angry, but as they had grieved for the child that had never been and cared for their son they had realised that the doctor had been right.

Summer turned to autumn and then to winter and as the first snow had settled, Sapphire was pregnant again.

It had been cold when the bells had rung to herald in the new year, but a different kind of chill had settled into their hearts as they had sat inside the doctors surgery and held each other with no thoughts of celebration. This time Sapphire had been almost four months gone, enough for them to see the slight swelling of her stomach, but not long enough to stop their child from leaving.

It had been unfair, so unfair that during a festival that symbolised hope and new beginnings they were forced to confront another loss. Together they had pleaded for all the tests the doctor could think of, hoping to find a reason why this was happening, but they had all come back negative, nothing to explain why they had lost two children, or why Sapphire's first pregnancy had been trouble free.

Over the next three years, Sapphire had fallen pregnant again four more times, but each had ended the same way and while none had been as late as the second, sparing Sapphire the pain of feeling her child move within her, it hadn't made it any easier to bear.

After the last - the sixth - they decided to stop trying.

It wasn't worth the pain.

* * *

Time passed, they had healed as much as they could and life had gone on.

Kharis had grown up and after leaving school had gone through with his plan to travel around the Mainland, funded by the money left to him by his grandfather. He had been gone for several months now and sent them letters every month, the last one arriving just a few days before. If Alex thought about it, Sapphire had been strangely subdued and distracted, but because she hadn't spoken to him and always did when something was troubling her he had put it down to her concern for their son.

"I just can't do it..." Sapphire sobbed into his shoulder, bringing Alex out of his thoughts. "I can't go through losing another child, not again."

"Saph." Alex stroked her hair. "It might be different this time."

"No, it won't!" Sapphire cried out, pushing herself away. "It's going to be the same, just like all those other times and I'm not going to let myself hope otherwise. I... I can't." Sapphire's voice cracked and she wrapped her arms around herself. "I just can't, Alex. I can't let myself believe that this child will make it, that I could hold another baby in my arms. It's just easier to accept the truth, so it won't hurt me as much when it happens."

Alex didn't know what to say to that. He wanted to tell Sapphire she was wrong, but one look at her struck him silent.

He couldn't make that promise.

Sapphire took a tissue from the box at the counter and dried her eyes, then calmly said she was going home.

"I'm coming with you."

"No." Sapphire shook her head. "I'm going back to school."

"Sapphire." Alex took her hand and held it between his own. "I can't promise that everything will be okay, but I can promise you that whatever happens, we'll get through it together. I'm always here for you."

The faint ghost of a smile flitted across his wife's face. "I know."

* * *

Three days later, during which time Sapphire didn't mention the subject again, she and Alex took the long, three hour trip to the capital of South Island at the suggestion of their doctor, who had recommended they visit the best medical facility on the island and in a near-echo of the past, Sapphire had gone through countless tests.

This time they found something.

It couldn't be confirmed as was the reason for the loss of their unborn children but they were told a defiancy of a newly discovered hormone in Sapphire's body could have been a contributing factor. It had left Alex feeling hopeful as they had returned home with a prescription for several medicines and orders to visit their doctor once every two weeks to check the progress of their unborn child, but Sapphire had continued to believe that history would repeat itself and nothing Alex said made any difference.

He knew she cared.

She was just afraid to care too much.

* * *

It wasn't until late autumn that this changed.

Sapphire was still following all the doctor's instructions, but almost as if it were just another task on a list and though she would now mention their unborn child, it was never with the same joy that Alex remembered when they had been expecting Kharis. Back then, once the initial shock had worn off, all Sapphire had been able to talk about was the baby until it became a running joke that everyone should carry around a roll of tape to ensure that they could take control of the conversation.

Remembering the broad smile on her face as Sapphire had taken his hand and placed it on her bump just as he felt the baby kick, Alex was startled by the door opening.

He glanced up from counting the money in the till to see Sapphire smiling at him for the first time in almost three months, a joyous and honest smile that was reminicent of one he had seen almost eighteen years before. "Sapphire? I thought you were teaching?"

"I just had my appointment." Sapphire took his face in her hands and kissed him, then took his hands and moved them to her stomach. "He said the baby is fine."

Alex paused. "Sapp, you sound happy. Not that I don't want you to be happy." He added quickly. "But you haven't been..."

Sapphire's smile faltered. "I know. I'm so sorry for that." She paused. "I'm still worried, but when I went to my appointment the doctor told me that I'm now sixteen weeks gone. That's four months, Alex, four months."

Four months.

Of the children they had lost, the longest had only survived for fifteen weeks and it seemed that with that milestone reached and the unborn child still safe within her, Sapphire had been able to raise herself from the darkness that had plagued her for so long and start to believe that this child might survive.

That wasn't to say that her fears dissapeared completely. She remained on edge, worried by any sign at all that something might be wrong and Alex was frequently roused in the middle of the night to find his wife outside, watching the stars after another nightmare. At those times there were no words he could use, so he would touch her arm and lead her back to bed, then hold her in his arms as their fingers curled around each other's hands and rested on her stomach.

But those worrying times became less and less as the days turned into weeks and months and he saw the Sapphire he loved returning to him.

* * *

When Sapphire was almost seven months gone, Kharis returned home.

The look of surprise and shock on their son's face when he had arrived and been greeted by the sight of his mother and her now-sizeable bump had been priceless, leaving him speechless as Sapphire had apologised tearfully for not telling him in the few letters they had exchanged over the past six months. Kharis hadn't needed a reason for this - he had been old enough to remember when Sapphire had fallen pregnant the last time and told his parents that he understood.

"Dad!"

Alex looked up from stacking the shelves to see Kharis rush in and a pit of worry settle in his stomach as his son turned the sign around. "Kharis?"

"It's mom." Kharis explained breathlessly. "She's in labour."

As they rushed back home, Alex couldn't help but wonder whether his wife had been right to worry. Though Sapphire was further along than her other pregnancies - except for her first - there was still a month to go and there could still be so many things that could go wrong. "Kharis, is the doctor there"

"I called him as soon as mom told me." Kharis said as they ran. "Aunt Jen came over to wait for the doctor while I came to get you."

As they reached the small cottage they called home, a slender lapine with light brown fur was waiting for them.

"She's asking for you, Alex." Jennifer Lightfoot told him, taking his hand and leading him inside. "The doctor said they can't stop the labour and it's too late to take her to the hospital. This baby is going to be born here and now, but they've got all the equipment they' need and they've called Jarin just in case."

Alex squeezed his eyes shut and swallowed the lump in his throat as he went up the stairs.

Everyone knew of Jarin Arinode, a lupine of almost sixty years of age with the chaos ability of teleportation. Though a teacher by occupation, he was also a civilian member for all the hospitals in a hundred-mile radius, called in when the condition of a patient meant that the strain of transporting them to hospital could make them worse or that time was of the essence. Alex knew that to call Jarin was only a precaution and that if anything did go wrong it could mean the difference between life and death, but this didn't make him feel any better as he entered the bedroom and knelt down by the bed.

Sapphire's face was wracked with fear and pain, but she still managed to smile as their hands touched and fingers intertwined. "Hey."

Alex brushed her hair away from her eyes. "Hey. How are you feeling?"

"Like I'm being gripped in a vice..." Sapphire tried to quip, but her eyes betrayed her. "Alex, I'm scared."

"So am I." Alex confessed. "But everything will be fine."

The next hours passed slowly as Alex remained by his wife's side, supporting her as best he could, gripping her hand as she had cried with each contraction. He felt useless, but knew that to be somewhere other than where he was at that moment would be wrong and only cause Sapphire more pain.

In the early hours of the morning, it came to an end, but with the strong, yet quiet cries of their second child.

Alex couldn't take his eyes off her as the nurse wrapped the baby in a blanket, then placed her in his arms as the doctor looked over Sapphire. He chuckled softly as he looked at his daughter and saw that Sapphire's wish to have a child that would look like her hadn't happened, for the baby had the same grey fur and black-tipped ears as he and Kharis both shared, though as he tucked the blanket around her did see several strands of purple hair which he could see being tied into pigtails.

"She's beautiful." Sapphire breathed as Alex lowered their daughter into her arms. "Oh Alex, she's so beautiful."

Alex nodded, unable to speak as he watched his wife cradle their daughter.

"She's healthy as well." The doctor came up to them. "Her lungs are still undeveloped and she's small, but there's no need to call Jarin. The medical transport is waiting outside to take us to the hospital where we'll keep you both in for a few days for observation."

"Can we wait just a moment?" Alex asked as the doctor packed up his things. "I think we both want Kharis to meet his new sister."

The doctor nodded and left.

Soon after, Kharis walked in. "Hi mom. Is that..."

Sapphire smiled and nodded. "Your new sister. Why don't you come and say hello."

Kharis knelt down by the bed and placed his finger in the tiny palm of the hand that curled around it. "She's beautiful, mom."

"She still needs a name." Alex spoke up, resting a hand on his son's shoulder. "Your mother and I, well, we tried to think of names, but couldn't decide on one, so we thought that you might have a suggestion."

Kharis looked down at his sister, honoured to be asked and surprised when it didn't take him more than a few seconds before a name entered his head, as if it had been there all along but shielded by a barrier. He was sure that he had never heard it before, or known anyone called by that name, but it felt familiar and more than that, it felt right. "How about Aurora?"

His mother smiled. "That's a wonderful name, but I think she needs a middle name as well."

Alex tapped his chin. "How would you feel about giving her my grandmother's name?"

"Aurora Crystal Starfire." Sapphire tucked the blanket closer around her daughter, who was making small whimpering noises. "You know, I think it sounds perfect."

* * *

**Authors note: **Though this chapter doesn't actually deal with Aura's travelling years, I've included it here as I feel it forms an important part of them - the real beginning of her travels as it were. Any thoughts for future chapters will be greatly appreciated and welcomed.


End file.
